Hey Big Ben!
I don't want to sugar coat anything, you are completely right. On numerous occasions this season, I lied to you about what was happening, or what I would be doing. I spoke about the Tessa vote a bit in another response, but this was probably the biggest/first main example. I'll paste below part of the excerpt where I mentioned you:
"I feel like Ben and I had been developing a strong bond, which was majorly set back here (referring to when I wasn't honest with you the round Tessa left). While we were able to come together at multiple points during the rest of the season, I think our working relationship would have been more substantial and deeply rooted. I made the assumption that Ben's loyalty was stronger with you and Tessa than it would have been with me. I didn't spend the proper time to value the one-on-one relationship we had already created at the time."
It was wrong of me to do this, I could have handled the situation a lot more cleanly. I was unnecessarily dishonest with you, something that was a complete error on my part! We didn't work together for the round after this when Kylie left, but I felt like (at least from my perspective) our dynamic improved quite a bit after this.
I fully understand being upset with me breaking my word time and time again; I can't blame you for finding little reason to want to award me with your vote. If I didn't keep my word to you, why should you feel obligated to keep your word to me? I want to try and shed some light on some of the reasons why I believe I deserve YOUR vote. Reasons for BEN, not for the jury.
- I did break my word with you. I also worked with you to pull of some successful plays, and to help keep one another in the game (The Michelle vote is a great example). I feel like we were able to build past some of the damage that had been done, in pursuit of a better future.
- I never cast a vote against you this season. We spoke after some of the fallout earlier in the merge about how we knew we likely wouldn't go to FTC together, but that we had mutual interest to continue to stick together in the short term. It just ended up lasting longer than we anticipated!
-At F5, while messy, I solidified a decision to vote Daisy out, which kept us in the game at F4. I know this wasn't ideal for your game over Jarrad, but it put me in the best position to succeed.
- You already mentioned this, but I gave you the opportunity to compete for a spot in the F3.
- Jarrad may have said he would vote for you in the end, but like you said, he voted for you over and over and over again. I hope you know the level of respect I hold for you. If you were sitting here with Jarrad over me, I am very confident that I would have given you my vote to win.
I don't expect or assume your vote by any means, especially with what I have outlined above. I think these factors are important. But there is one factor, one promise that I made to you, that is the most important of the entire Final Tribal Council. One bond that we made that I vowed to never dishonor, no matter what!
I promised you that I would sleep with milk in my beard if I made it to Final Tribal Council, bookending the arc to our unbelievable journey. I finally did it last night. It was stinky. But fuck is my beard ever soft now