[Juuso Makilahde]

Hyvää huomenta!


I had to take a nap after the long week you have all put me through! It's hard to believe we've lost Jericho, Nova, Tessa, Kylie, and Tegan this week. Let's be real here, each tribal was more wild than the last! Let's see if we keep up the pace and continue to top the chaos!


1. After Kylie was voted out, it seemed like the game began to take a new direction. What was your plan and who did you find it most important to speak to?


2. Touchy Subjects is always a favorite around here! What did you take away from the results of the challenge? Did you learn anything from the tribe's answers? How does this information help you move forward?


3. While it looked like a stressful Tribal Council for all of you, I didn't have to do anything! Your whispers ran the tribal! Do you think the whispers had an impact on the vote? Who did you see yourself relying on for information?


4. You've made it to the weekend! Now is the time to regroup and plan for the next chaotic week. Now is the time you should begin to think about who you want at the end with you and who you want to put on the jury. Do you have any thoughts who you'd like to see yourself standing next to at the end?



Have a good weekend!!!


-Juuso

[Michelle]

That was THE longest and most chaotic week of my entire org career…………………..honestly it all happened so fast i have NO memory of wtf happened and i was too overwhelmed to try writing down all that was going on and my thoughts about everything…. So sorry to yall for that and also sorry to me bc i rely on my own confessionals to remind me of all the important things hahah let me try to briefly give myself the highlights lol

Sunday~ Jericho...First merge boot I don’t think it was super eventful compared to the rest but that’s always stressful

Monday~Nova….I feel like this might have been the easiest of the bunch? I had just met her for the first time, she wasn’t a number for “The 7”, she was good in challenges and people were pretty much on board… i dont remember too much craziness????

Tuesday~Tessa…. okay this is when it all started going bad… The Daisy vs Kylie storyline I had been waiting for since premerge really started to take off because Daisy felt on the bottom of “The 7” so she was ready to flip to the other side but David ratted her out to Kylie…. It turned into a huge mess and everyone was driving me crazy…. Daisy was out of “The 7” and replaced by David but with Tegan on an island of her own and the way that Kylie/Sarah/Mat were treating me with only giving me half infos and having conversations without me I was so over them i had solid indiidual relationships with them but clearly on the bottom of the power dynamics… I went along with voting Tessa but with the immunity necklace as a safety net i started setting up the shot for the next round

Wednesday~ Kyile….biiiitch this was MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!

Okay i dont even know where to start….. I had no clue what the right move to make there was… i literally did not decide until the last minute
Plan A was take out sharn and then ben….. then at f9 people would be ready to make moves

but i said “If we do it now at 11 with 7 to 4 there's room to recover and take another shot if we fail... we wont have that luxury at 9 and at that point the shot would be at us and not sharn”

But then i thought that was stupid and i should just vote for sharn… i didnt know what i was going to do so i didnt really talk to people like sharn/ben/baden so even though i voted with them i didnt really gain trust with them??? Well sharn said she owes me so hopefully she means that……

i was lying to everyone and telling the truth to everyone…. I was talking to everyone and I was talking to no one….. It was full of chaos and confusion and I had to make a decision on who should go & I chose Kylie

I went to bed feeling okay about the move that night after talking to mat and smoothing things over with him…. but then i woke up the next morning and i started thinking i made a huge mistake????? It definitely opened the game wide up but then people saw me as the one who opened the door???? I don’t know what to say about this one because for the last 48 hours with all the time leading up to it and all the time that’s passed since I’ve been wondering if that was even a good move…… i have no clue and thinking about it hurts me

But I just pulled off voting out kylie, I had to do damage control and make sure to squash that any rumors about who i was aligned with or why i made that choice bc I guess the perception was that I was tight with some people that I made that move with????? in reality it was my first time talking game with most of them and i didnt even talk about the vote that much bc i didnt know what i was going to decide and didnt want to lie more than i needed to for an easier cleanup lol

Because of the spotlight on me I didn’t want to be the one controlling the F10 vote or saying a name or anything bc my argument for taking out kylie was she was in charge... I took her out to open up the game not to become the next big threat taken out right after her

Sarah was like “ well there must a big player running things now” and “yeah girl i think youre in the best position in this game right now honestly and i am so jealous LOL”

Sharn said “Like you just pulled off the biggest move in the game yet you’re still UTR. Let me just sign your $100 check now.”

soooooo i just wanted to go back into the shadows and that brings us to...

Thursday~ Tegan……..……. i was still reeling from the day before trying to figure out how to reposition myself within this group…. And no one was saying any names….. And then results come out and I WIN IMMUNITY! We have like 30 minutes to vote, I just want to talk to people, get info, figure out what the best play for me was and let someone else take the reigns to make it happen so I can fade back into the background as best as I can… and then I LOST IMMUNITY!

20 minutes to vote….. Now im beyondddd frazzled and trying to talk to people was just asking everyone “so what have you heard???” and getting no real answers about anything…. With less than 5 minutes left until chat closed for tribal it seems like the options were Tegan & Ben but that was not enough time to talk with everyone so I went into tribal council with no clue what was happening…. The whispering started and I thought I was voting Ben… as the vote got closer and things started to shift I was so torn bc Tegan&I made the Kylie move together and she was good in challenges… so without her here the spotlight of those 2 labels can be easily shifted to me…. But then I starting thinking if people thought we were a pair after the Kylie vote.. then getting rid of Tegan would nip that in the bud????? Idk it was like 2 minutes left until vote when I started telling myself I guess I was okay with voting Tegan and then less than 1 minute before the vote I got 3 whispers from Mat,Jarrad&Sharn saying it’s Tegan so regardless of what I was thinking….. there was no other option

It’s not even like I REALLY wanted ben out…….. Jarrad was being weird and seeming like he was suddenly closer to ben??? im definitely the least connected to Ben (besides david) so it wasn’t like worst case scenario for him to leave and if ben left and tegan trusted me she would have gotten the box and told me what was in it…… ugh…

i dont even know who wanted what last night…. I know ben wanted Tegan I think David wanted Tegan….. Sharn seemed open she kept saying things like just wanting to vote with me but she could have just been saying that and wanted tegan gone all along….. Sarah and mat were confusing me I had no clue what they actually wanted to do

I dont think im in anyones end game plans but i have no clue who is even in my endgame plans nevermind who everyone else is thinking about… there are 9 people here who are trying to navigate surviving and planning for this double vote to take us to F7 while all trying to factor in and figure out who we want/need at endgame but we all have different games and intentions and needs…………………

i dont know what I want… in theory baden and daisy would be a great shot at F3 but what if everyone is thinking that cutting one of them frees up a spot in the F3 for me??????…. I know I won F5 and F4 immunity in morocco but I’m not counting on my abilities to pull that off again but I just would need to survive this double on sunday and then 1 more at F7 and then I’d have my idol at F6 and could take myself to the end with just 2 challenge wins….. That would be great but it’s not realistic for a plan lmao

I’ve been looking at the names of our f9 trying to come up with idea or plans or possibilities for sunday….. Both votes require 5 for majority… i’m 1 so I just need 4 people who will not vote me out……….. I guess my strategy for now is to just talk to people, make everyone feel good with me, play up how overwhelmed and confused I am trying to make sure no one sees me with any power right now... please everyone just see me as a hopeless mess that needs to be taken in!!!!!!!

I dont think i answered any of your questions or said literally anything at all..... this looks so long but what did i say? i don’t know i'll get back to yall or i might just end up writing a novel from ponderosa on sunday night

[Michelle]

[Michelle]

i think i got the majority votes in touchy subjects for who you would trust with your life and who's most likely to backstab you which is an interesting combination of superlatives lololol............ can anyone confirm what i won in morocco touchy subjects i think it was something like biggest goat or next voted out??????????????????????

i cant even begin to compare this season to morocco

[Michelle]

i didnt really actually look at the touchy subjects answers..... i opened it the first time when it was posted i think i right clicked/open image in new tab.... because thats usually how you do that on this website to get the challenge results bigger? right??? i think thats how i did it.... but i opened it and just read thru it enough to see the score and how it broke down and that i won!!!! then i must have went back to look at the answers again and that's when i found the idol clue....i was 10000% certain that someone must have already found it because it was pretty out in the open but somehow i got it?????? and i never really went back to check out the answers..i think its still there?????? like SOMEONE had to have gone back to the touchy subjects thing and found it by now which is scary if people are aware that the merge idol could be back in play already..... i hope theyre stupid

ive been talking to people about how impossible this double vote is trying to plan two votes with all the variables of not knowing which 2 people are going to win immunity, which tribal council the immunity winners will use it during, Ben's public idol, and whatever's in this box at the auction....... hopefully nobody suspects anything about the idol in my pocket so i can be like "please if i'm in trouble you know i didnt get a box from sharn or the auction i just want to know if its me " so i can have a heads up on if and when i need to use it to save myself

i just offered sharn coins because if i need to not have the box to be able to play that card...but i want to know whats in the box because another unknown variable will rip me to shreds....id ask jarrad to go for it but the bitch is camping i honestly dont know who i trust right now... and its weird that im choosing sharn because i have closer relationships with mat&sarah and with daisy....... but i do think me jarrad and sharn could potentially be something good????

[Michelle]

Okay just updated my game info doc and it's getting overwhelming to look at so I'm cleaning up some of the bulk by posting important convo highlights from weds/thurs

Dropping Seeds To Mat Before Tessa Vote:
Me: Yeah I'm just trying to understand everything that's going on

Mat: Id say talk to kylie, she has a better grip on it than I do

Me: Kylie has a grip on the whole game lol

Mat: Thats good for us. We can hide behind that imo...how you doing?

Me: I don't like it haha I'm down to [vote with her] tonight But my loyalty is to you She's running the show and [her] with all the numbers next week scares me

Mat: I dont like it at all, its so squeamish, but its the right play here People dont like her much and there is a ton of game left. SHes a great shield for now and will have more eyes on her after using a power

Me: I think she stirred the pot a bit too much tonight

Voting Kylie Aftermath Reconciliation With Mat
Me: I still feel bad about last night. I was pretty straight up with you with my feelings before the vote because I did and still do feel like I can and have to talk to you about anything I was saying I was over Kylie and I don't care about her numbers I care about yours

Mat: Straight up with your feelings, but not your intentions, which you couldnt do for fear I would pick her over you. I totally get it. I should of listened harder I think. Its almost like you did me a favor and protected me. It just didnt look or feel like that I think you can see that I got free'd up last night cause of that move. It was like you stole me from her....haha, but you had me well before that[

Me: I don't think I ever feared that you would pick her over me in the sense that I thought you would target me if I was going after Kylie? Like we've talked enough where I'm not going to do anything that puts you in danger and I do trust you feel the same about me Like we saw the game different for a minute but the end goal has never changed But yeah I was scared it ruin that if I was straight up with you about my intentions for the vote and I was scared it would ruin that if I wasn't It was awful

Mat: In my first season my alliance and I didnt vote the same a couple of votes and I didnt see it as a betrayal. that is how I saw last night. We just had a different plan, but neither of us were in danger because of it and it didnt hurt the "us" of it. IF, you had told me, I think my night would have been 10x worse

Me: I assumed that would be the case lol I still feel bad about taking that decision away from you though even if I stand by thinking it was the right one lol

Mat: I feel that and you have apologized and explained everything really well and we can put this in the past for sure. I mean what better optic to hide us than what went down last night. Its really really easy for me to say "I have no idea what Michelle is doing" right now

Assuring Mat I'm Not With "The Other Side"
Mat: Like you voted with them and they never told you what step 2 was?

Me: Oh yeah I never talked about future plans at all I don’t know if there's a perception that I have side deals or there was a group or alliances or I have ties now I fuckinng wish I did because now I'm here today like oh shit... I don't have any of that

Mat: you crazy girl! Well lets win this vote. Someone will have to tell you a plan at somepoint

Me: I know even if I did have some secret plans with numbers secured all around I'd have to say that I don't But it's very frustrating that I put myself in a position where I actually don't but now people might think I do... I'm really mad at myself

Kylie Boot Aftermath with Sarah
Me: I felt like Kylie was trying to replace me with David and she had the biggest grip on this game when they said her name with numbers I thought it might be the last chance

Sarah: i totally get why it happened and i think kylie will understand. she was dominating us all and making us all feel like her bestie.... Guessing theyre just gonna pick me and kylies ex minions off one by one :P

Me: Noooo I don't think you're alone at all love you haha It was against Kylie.. I feel like I put myself in a situation where I didn't like FLIP? It wasn't about having close relationships or even really much of any relationship with the people who I voted with last night

Sarah: Ohh really? I think most people assume youa nd tegan are close with daisy or baden or whoever there are lots of rumours being spread then

Sarah: you sure youre with me tonight? I dont really care what happens as long as im safe. so can you update me if they tell you anything?

M: Yeah! I really don't want you gone and that would be awful for my game haha I didn't know what I was doing yesterday So I really kinda didn't talk to the people I ended up voting with...I have nooooo clue what's going to happen today

S: really?? not even tegan?

M: I'd say I checked in with Tegan at least a couple times because she was in a similar situation where Kylie had us but at the bottom of her long list of allies But it was like..”is this the right time?”..... I don’t know if there are rumors or if you're hearing things and if so I have no clue where they're coming from lmao But at least on my end there's nothing that's been strongly built with people who voted against you just took my own opportunity when it was presented to me

S:Ahhh okok so youre basically feeling like a free agent at this point?

M:Kinda yeah I definitely feel most closely connected with you and I like Mat So I'm not out here alone because what we've had didn't go anywhere for me! It's just like....I don’t know if there are alliances anymore.. If there are I'm not in them. The only one I've been in is "The 7"..I feel like I'm going to get out of this season and find out all those group chats were actually used and I'm going to feel like an idiot

S:Well at least theres no group chats i dont think! (fraudulent bitch )

[Michelle]

David's Silliloque After Kylie Vote
" I appreciate your honesty about it all I felt like after I came to vote with you guys last time, i didn't want to bombard you with a bunch of crap and seem like some crazy guy. I wanted to get an organic chance to get to know you, so you knew I was being honest with you. and I fully understand why you decided now was the time. I felt like after I just did that, and people knew I was close with her, how big of a damn snake would ol Davey boy look like if I went for her. Thats part of why i didnt do much today. I just felt bad about it all In a way though.
i think there is a silver lining. I don't think people have really seen me as my own individual in this game yet, at least often times not. I'm hoping that at this point, people will see that I do want to play my own game, thats part of the message I tried to send last vote. I want to find the people who want to work with me. If I dont, so be it. But trying to blindside and dupe everyone isnt going to work for me..I dont blame you for not saying anything. I just hope that you see my actions as at least somewhat trustworthy, since I never said anything to you i didnt mean"

David Wanting Tegan Gone At F10
D: I want to blindside Tegan she is literally everyone's best friend And she is going to win the game. PLUS she is the biggest challenge threat..I know you just made the move you did, but the game is wide open now. I don't think you making a move here is going to end up getting you targetted. And you know damn well that I'll probably get heat before you do
Me: Yeah but will people start looking at me once Tegan's gone?
D: I think it's possible, but there are still other people who have won now like me and Ben, and Ben is a really big challenge threat in people's eyes. I think there is merit to what you are saying regarding the challenge performance, but the further the game goes the more important numbers become

[Michelle]

Personal Relationship:
Jarrad>Sarah>Mat>Daisy/Sharn>Baden?David?Ben

Trust Ranking:
Jarrad>Sharn?Mat?Daisy?Sarah?Baden?David?Ben?
that's all sorts of fucked up right now this game is tmth

Possible Paths for Double??????????:
Me,Jarrad,Sharn +David/Sarah/Mat vote Baden/Ben*? *Daisy?
or
Me, Jarrad, Sharn+ Baden/Ben/Daisy vote David>Mat/Sarah?
*Ben has idol…. If I’m voting with him I need to make sure he believes I really am voting with him so he doesn’t flip? But if we want to spook him into using his idol have to be vague???

Can someone who knows how to do numbers find out how many iterations of vote possibilities there are with the variables in play…. I want to be prepared because trying to figure out 1 vote a night last week was PAINFUL...I would really love to be able to go into the night as prepared as humanly possible… but like…. How do i map out all the different possible scenarios without knowing which 2 people will be immune…. Oh god i still have to do that challenge… fuck…. I know ive been throwing comps and would love to be able to make it thru sunday without having to win immunity but i don’t know i guess if im in trouble and i win the challenge i can guarantee myself at least 7th place by having the necklace and the hidden immunity idol and could just try to fight my way to the end.... i hope that's not necessary

Possible Boot Orders:
Baden&Ben>Mat/Sarah>David>Jarrad>Mat/Sarah?
or
David&Mat>Ben>Baden/Jarrad>Sarah?

Possible boot orders to tell Jarrad:
9.Baden 8.Ben > 7.Mat/Sarah> 6.David> 5. Daisy > 4.Mat/Sarah?
9.David 8.Mat>7.Ben >6.Baden>5.Daisy>4.Sarah

This is all so likely to change and be rearranged...if i somehow get to 5 and think sharn is a bigger threat than jarrad that could be switched????? i don’t know i cant really look ahead but with this double i really need to at least have an idea of what could work and then adapt from there

Idk what the right thing to do...Keeping mat&sarah as a duo with spotlight to split up at 7 vs Keeping Ben as challenge threat?

i think i made a mistake by telling mat i had 17 coins because he knows he has more than me...he might ask me for coins tomorrow what am i supposed to say? no????? Sharn says she has 17 coins, her getting auction box best case scenario? Hopefully People think she’s alone or with Ben... so i am willing to give her as many coins as she needs to win...i have no clue what to do if this auction gets crazy or how its going to work or how it will factor in to everything tomorrow oh god i was starting to feel like maybe i was kinda well planned but nope just remembered how fucked tomorrow is going to be

If...... in theory...its 3 3 3 (me/sharn/jarrad) (daisy/baden/ben) (sarah/mat/david)... i’m trying to position my 3 inbetween the other two… can those two turn around and make the same play against my 3? Idk if they’d work together… the tegan vote was really blurry…. ben/david could be a connection to watch for because they did both want tegan with sharn… ugh its not even like i feel like a strong 3 with “my 3”???????

all this makes me think theres a smarter path to take out of those boot options... but i have no clue what everyone else is thinking and all the unknowns......this was all probably like so much extra thinking and work for nothing

ugh okay........ thats it thats enough for today

[Michelle]

*reminder to self... tomorrow to do one of those charts to work out if a f3 of me/baden/daisy is still in the realm of possible realities*

[Michelle]

okay so i guess the mindset right now is

tell sarah & mat the targets are baden/daisy/ben????

tell daisy & baden the targets are david/mat/sarah????

talk to sharn and jarrad about we should actually do then decide???????

[Michelle]

okay well i was TRASHHHHHHH at that build a tower challenge.... i think i should end with 63? i kept fucking up so i didnt start my final tower until 17 minutes into the 30 minutes sooooo..... there goes the idea of having a necklace to protect me in this double lol

[Michelle]

i convinced sharn to go all in on this box auction i hope its worth it lol i have a feeling its not going to be worth it and shes going to be annoyed with me lmaoooooooo

[Michelle]

how did i come in first.....

[Jonathan LaPaglia]

by a lot

[Michelle]

why is me flopping with using less than half the time.... double the score of everyone else... fuckkkkkkkkk

[Michelle]

if i get voted out at this first tribal with the immunity necklace AND a hidden immunity idol in my pocket i think it would be hilarious that enough is worth the risk

[Michelle]

Ben, with last Council being so chaotic, but the vote being completely unanimous, do you think a lot of people got duped into voting together?

yeah and he was probably the one who was behind it all lmao

[Michelle]

I feel like I'm watching my blindside.... they really should do it... why would they want baden out over me?????

[Michelle]

I'm waiting to see if anyone will tell me that it's me so i can play my idol if necessary... i dont want to whisper with a lot of people... i saw jarrad and mat whisper to sarah so i whispered to sarah because she would have both their intel and its not whispering with mat/jarrad which are the decoy targets.... i hope people just think i asked sarah for a tampon or something

[Michelle]